How many jokes have been told over the past 170 years about these two Cologne originals: Tünnes and Schäl.
The two never actually existed in real life, but only as puppets in the Hännesche Theater and as protagonists in jokes, comedy speeches and funny Cologne stories.

Tünnes, the Cologne dialect for “Antonius”, is a farmer through and through, always friendly, sometimes ignorant and naive, but also with a certain amount of peasant cunning.
His trademark is his bulbous nose.
In contrast to Tünnes, Schäl, the Cologne dialect for “left”, is slim and taller, but is a little sly and underhanded crook.
His trademark is the tailcoat, which portrays him as a “fine” citizen.
Together they combine many of the peculiarities of the people of Cologne. Historically, there is a very big age difference between the two. First there was Tünnes in 1803 and then Schäl around 50 years later.
From then on they were an inseparable couple.

This can also be seen here as a bronze monument in Cologne’s old town.
By the way, rubbing Tünnes’ bulbous nose is said to bring good luck…
Has it brought you luck yet…?

And here is a joke from the large repertoire of gags about the two:
Tünnes and Schäl are standing on the Rhine bridge. Both are leaning over the parapet. Suddenly Schäl’s glasses fall into the water. “There, Tünnes,” he says, “my glasses have actually fallen into the Moselle.”
“Oh, Schäl,” replies Tünnes, “that’s not the Moselle, that’s the Ring!”
To which Schäl says: “You see, Tünnes, how badly I can see without my glasses.” (verliebtinkoeln.com)

Would you like an encore?

Tünnes and Schäl want to be worldly and buy crocodile leather shoes. In the shoe shop, however, they find out that such shoes cost upwards of 500 euros. “Oh,” says Tünnes, “that expensive? I know something better. Schäl, we’re going to Africa and going crocodile hunting.”

Two weeks later, the two are standing on the banks of the Upper Nile. While Schäl wades into the water to attract the crocodiles, Tünnes waits on the bank to kill them with a thick club when they chase Schäl and come out of the water.

In this way, they have already killed seven crocodiles. Schäl is just rushing to the bank, with a crocodile close behind him. With a powerful blow to the head, Tünnes sends it to the afterlife. Schäl looks at the dead animals and says exhaustedly: “If the next one doesn’t have shoes on either, we’ll go home.” (verliebtinkoeln.com)

*You can almost fall into our next destination: Groß St. Martin, the church that is often found in views of the city skyline of Cologne. Just a few steps please. *